One foot into the Rap Tunnel...

The Situation: Recent controversy and conversation starter, "The Rape Tunnel" has lead local rappers Ripynt and Kublakai to build their own version. When these two awkwardly named emcees were asked "Why build a rap tunnel?", they had some very interesting answers.

Ripynt says "We've tried giving our music away, but we're in a recession. People are far more hesitant these days to accept a free download of an album than years before. With the rise of iTunes and other viable media outlets to actually purchase quality music, many hobby rappers have been left in the dust, with a shitload of unused bandwidth".

"We decided to build a Rap Tunnel out of plywood that leads into the back of Nectar Lounge. There is no way in or out of this part of the Nectar Lounge except for this tunnel. As you travel through the tunnel, it gets smaller and smaller, making it so that you have to crawl and put yourself in a submissive position in order to reach the tunnel's destination. At the end of the tunnel the subject will find me and Ripynt hobby rapping to the best of our ability. It's going to be fucking maddening," says Kublakai.

Game tips/Walk throughs: Enter through the castle's back door. Seriously, for those that would rather just walk into the show tonight at Nectar Lounge, feel free... the show, like the two EP's it is promoting, is totally free. For those that would rather face the Rap Tunnel, be warned that Notion and Wizdom are also on the bill.

* quotes contained in this entry may be completely fabricated.

And so begins the Seattle Juggalo War...

The Situation: It seems like ages ago (because it was, literally over a year) that I made a comment that would come back to haunt me.


In response to this photo, I typed a very tasteless quip.

"That's not their Baby's Funeral... they're crying because that cooler is empty of Faygo."

At the time I thought it was clever. I probably could have made a similar joke had it been a Trekkie baby funeral or a Jedi baby funeral. It would have been just as tasteless and possibly just as funny. I don't know.

Since then I have received multiple comments, including death threats, from the Juggalo community. I even made a public apology to the Juggalo communtiy a few months ago, after receiving the most severe death threat. Still, I feel as if there is a war brewing.

Most recently, a Juggalo named CiCi has taken offense to my comments. Though I felt like I already apologized for my tasteless joke, still I feel the backlash. When CiCi, this jaded Juggalette, tried to chastise the 206Proof community for their downer attitude on Juggalos, it only stirred up even more drama.

I don't feel like I'm the one that started the negative criticism of Juggalo lifestyle, but it seems like my comments are their gateway into our world. For that, I feel like I need to be a Martyr. Some sort of Juggalo Jesus, who is willing to die for the sins of the paint. I am willing to make the ultimate sacrifice. The only answer I see is...

Game tips/Walk through: Juggalo Makeover. I'm going to listen to The Great Milenko, watch Big Money Hustlas, drink faygo and ultimately dawn the face paint. I'm willing to walk a mile in their shoes. I will become Juggalo, to try and find a way for us to coexist. If I fail, so begins the 206 Proof / Juggalo War.

They're trying to kill me...

I just wanted to chime in on the fact that I haven't posted any updates recently... it's not because there haven't been any targets. It's because I've been dying or something. Last week, I got food poisoned at my favorite restaurant. Hooray! Luckily, that cleared up just in time for me to go to PAX.

I got to see MC Frontalot do what he does best along with another 5,000 or so fans. It was a high point of the weekend. Then I come home from PAX and start to hear about outbreaks of Swine Flu from the weekend. Then I start getting terribly sick. Then I had PAX Flu. If I keep going at this rate, I should have AIDS by the end of the month.

FUCK MY LIFE.

THAT NEW AFTERBURNER IS FIRE!

The Situation: Seattle rapper and proprietor of SeattleRaps.net, Afterburner, has announced his debut CD release. Here is an excerpt in his own words:

"release" took while because i'm (exclusive) "freshman: mc & producer" on debut. surf-in & download your FREE copy of my self-titled debut rap "afterburner", & buy rest(7raps) of debut lp only 13.95$ @ seattleraps.net i plan "fun" local promo tour fall '09!

Basically, what my man Afterburner is trying to say is HE SPITS HOT FIYAH! (No Dylan). To get a little taste of the god emcee in action, visit his online home base at SeattleRaps.net or his social networking hub - either way, it's certified.

Game tips/Walk through: There's no denying what Afterburner does. If you don't get him, YOU are doing something wrong. $14 is a small price to pay, to ensure somebody's financial freedom. Why not put your money in this man's pocket?