206Proof's BurnsGiving Celebration

The situation: Linked here for those interested in the new tradition, members of the 206Proof Hip-Hop forum were encouraged to spend the day of Thanks slamming the shit out of each other. Myself, Gatsby aka Dro Boy, DJ Nphared, MTK, Duranged Pitt and even a holiday special cameo from Seattle Time's music blogger Andrew Matson (among others). We all took the time to celebrate.

I would suggest going over the lengthy thread of quick witted caps and give yourself a little chuckle. One of my favorite snaps was a simple "sorry I couldn't pick up the phone earlier, I was busy staring off blankly into space" from Larry Mizell - but then a generous paragraph or so from Nightclubberlang to Everett's super producer MTK was a gem too.

Game tips/Walk through: Get your Proof calluses. I suggest you check out the thread, linked above, and spend the next 360 some days preparing for our next BurnsGiving event, as this is definitely a tradition worth upholding.

8 Rappers To Watch Out For In Seattle....

8. Petty P
7. Petty P
6. Petty P
5. Petty P
4. Petty P
3. Petty P
2. Petty P
1. Petty P
The Situation: In a post titled "8 Artists To Watch Out of Seattle", where you will find a great write up/mixtape about some Seattle Rappers, you will also find a poor guy digging his grave. Enter Petty P... a man petty enough, that he would claim himself more deserving of recognition than artists like J. Pinder, Spaceman and GMK. He would continue to snap misguided disses through out the post, making himself look like an idiot in the process.

If things weren't bad enough for Petty, 206 Proof alias "Dave Meinert" (a twisted homage to Seattle music power figure Dave Meinert, NOT ACTUALLY Dave Meinert) entered the fray. He said this of Petty P:

"AYO PETTY P YOU CANT FUCK WITH MEINMILLY I GOT THAT SHIT FOR THE GANGSTERS AND TWEAKERS FUCKEN ACTIVISTS AND BARISTAS FAM

I GOT THAT SHIT FOR THOSE FUCKEN CRACKERS AT CAFE VITA AND MY REAL CATS IN THE HOOD WITH STREET SWEEPERS

MY CHAI TEA SIPPERS AND CANDY PAINT FLIPPERS FAM

MY FUCKEN CATS CARRYING NINES AND MY CATS WITH MCGINN FOR MAYOR SIGNS FAM

FOR VELVET PICKLE AND HER HOMEGIRLS* CREW AND EVEN PROMO'S PUNK ASS TOO

THEY CALL YOU PETTY P CUZ YOUR FUCKEN PAPER IS PETTY FAM"

This post would fuel the fire that set Petty P off into an oblivious spiral of self defeat. Remember, Dave Meinert is an alias on 206Proof.com - not a real person, so this is the equivalent of fighting with an imaginary friend.

Petty would go on to burn potential bridges with Larry Mizell Jr. (writer for The Stranger and DJ for KEXP's Street Sounds), Kitty Wu (respected 206 Zulu representative and long time partner in Coolout Television) and Duranged Pitt (super sized Gangster Rapper and man who's dick is more famous than Petty P). Needless to say, it's not good times for Petty's P.R. department.

Now, I tried to stay out of it all. I've known about Pierre for quite a while. He recorded a lot with my friend Isaac Meek at Undercaste Records and I feel really bad calling anybody out who I've seen fucking struggle to produce music of even the lowest quality. Before that even, I heard stories from cats in his hood that he was always the little homey, struggling to fit in. Anyone else can see this guy's about as awkward as a 3 Dollar Bill, there's no genius in pointing that out.

I did however make one joke at his expense, responding to this picture:

"Gotta love it when the only fan in the crowd has an on/off switch."

Sorry, the observation was priceless and needed to be said. I'm never hesitant to speak my mind... openly. Unfortunately, poor Petty P had some ideas who the "Dave Meinert" alias on the Proof was. In response to somebody bringing up Meinmilly's hiatus from the thread, Pierre replied with "u mean billy tha fridges big fat ass!!!??he dont want none!!??". As if you weren't wrong enough, Pierre, I am not "Dave Meinert"... and I do actually want some.

Game tips/Walk through: Let the Wookie win. Pierre, you're corny. It's not that I want to ruin your career, or even have to for that matter, you've done a great job of that on your own. The thing is, I find it fun and entertaining to rip people to shreds. I'm a winner by nature, I put a tenth the effort into this Rap Game than you do, and I get 100 times the reward. It's attitude.

While you sit there and whine about nobody giving a fuck about you or your music, then claim that you're way beyondish other cats in the scene, I sit back and contribute to the city as a whole. There is no "me" in Seattle, but there is a lot of Seattle in me. You need to choke back some of that dorky fucking ego you walk with, dude. Calling me out is a mistake you don't want to make.

BODIED: Behold a Pale Sosa

The Situation: Recent photos of Sammy Sosa have shown him with terribly bleached skin. His Casperish facial coloration has even garnered some comparisons to Michael Jackson's fading skin tone. Our friend DJ Nphared, a Seattle musician and 206Proof mainstay, came to Sosa's defense. The following string of posts happened...

Game tips/Walk through:

N.Buck Presents Rip Off 101

The Situation: This dude N.Buck just posted his Wale compilation on 206Proof.com - maybe you can find something wrong with this picture?

Now, look beyond the 4th Grade Photoshop 'mixtape' cover... even ignore that the track listing is nearly a complete rip-off of some Twitter posts Wale leaked of his own old shit. Take a look at the top of that cover, can you make out that writing across the top? It reads "N.Buck presents Hip Hop 101". Yeeeaah, about that... do your homework dude.

Anybody who's been around the town for a while knows that Hip Hop 101 was the weekly Seattle Rap Show produced for years on public access. Dev From Above (then Dirty Dev) was the host with the most and the Mad Krew posse kept the show running smooth. When Kitty Wu came with Cool Out experience and elevated the project, it just kept the show running smoother. It was a huge part of Seattle's Hip Hop history.

Game tips/Walk through: Training mode. Seriously, dude... don't go around trying to 'teach people' some shit, when you yourself need to learn a couple of things. Welcome to 206 101, boss. This may not be as epic as BBNR's treading on the Rocksteady Crew, but it holds the same tone. Change the fuckin' name, kid.

Throwback Thursday: Grandmaster B

The Situation: In 1992, Married With Children sitcom star, David Faustino, put out a hip-hop single.



Game tips/Walk through: Most of Seattle's aspiring Rap Star try-hards need to take heed. If early 90's Bud Bundy rapped better than you do, just quit.